The Law of Attraction states that what you focus on you attract. A friend once told me, “You are
addicted to your misery.” That’s one of those statements that at the time felt like a slap in the face. However, it gave me pause and the opportunity to look at my behavior to see if what she was saying was really true. She was right! At that time I did invest much energy and time focused on problems, losses and negative thoughts. As long as my focus was negative, I made little progress moving forward to a better place.
Why was I so wedded to negative thoughts and a negative focus? Looking back at my history I realized that I was raised by parents who had lived through the trauma of WWII and focused on problems and spoke of the malevolent universe. I grew up listening to news which was skewed to the negative because trauma, violence, and wrongs are more dramatic and attract more viewers. Essentially I was programed to focus on the negative. I knew no other way to be.
It was only after my husband and I were in a serious motorcycle accident, when I sought help for anxiety and fear about my husband dying, that I became aware that there is another way. I was advised to do a gratitude list every night, listing five things I was grateful for. Recording gratitudes and affirmations each night became part of my bedtime routine.
I faithfully kept that journal for at least three years. The result? I unconsciously re-programed my brain. No longer did I automatically go to negative thoughts and judgments about myself, my circumstances and others. I noticed that I was looking for the good in every experience, looking for solutions instead of wallowing in the drama of the problems. With that new focus, I was able to better manage my feelings, even difficult feelings like sadness, hurt and anger. I was able to experience more moments of joy. I felt empowered and was able to handle my life more effectively.
Neuroscience teaches that change is not possible in the presence of negative emotional attractors. Change can only happen in the presence of positive emotional attractors. Believing that there is a solution to a problem you encounter is a positive emotional attractor. Trusting that there are lessons and gifts that exist even in the most difficult situations, and looking for those gems can shift a negative situation into an opportunity for growth, empowerment and change. And, remember the Law of Attraction? It teaches that positive thoughts and feelings attract more positive into your life. Negative thoughts and feelings attract more negative into your life in the form of challenges and obstacles.
Make looking for good, lessons and gifts your focus in every situation and you will empower yourself to keep growing and making changes that will make life an exciting, positive adventure. It’s your choice. Make it positive!