Tag Archives: mom

Mom, Don’t Block Clutter Clearing!

When I work with moms and their children to help clear out and organize

Mom, let her decide what to get rid of!

Mom, let her decide what to get rid of!

children’s rooms and play areas, I often find that a child is ready to part with an item and the mom is not. I once worked with a young girl who really knew what she wanted and what she no longer wanted to have in her space. Her mother, on the other hand, was a sentimental saver who has great difficulty parting with things. I knew I could have a challenge on my hands if we all worked together.

I’ve been in that situation before. Typically the child will identify something to donate to a charity and the mother will say, “Oh, your stuffed penguin, are you sure you want to get rid of that?” At that point I usually intervene and say, “If she wants to get rid of it, let her. If it means that much to you, you keep it.” Inside I’m saying, “It’s a good thing that she wants to get rid of things. Don’t discourage that!”

Fortunately, I’d worked with this client before and had prepared her for our session by encouraging her to let me work with her daughter by myself. I assuaged her fears by letting her know we’d show her what we planned to get rid of. Working alone with the daughter, we were able to find three large garbage bags of toys and craft items to donate and two bags of trash.

My client was so thrilled by our progress that she even allowed us to close two of the bags without checking out what was going out of the house. I am fairly certain we’d have been much less successful if Mom had been involved. Her second-guessing her daughter’s decisions would have slowed our progress and would have led to the daughter either feeling discouraged or angry.

Getting Mom out of the picture was a win-win for both mother and daughter. The child was given the chance to make her own decisions, with me monitoring the process, and the mother was able to get part of her house cleared out without the usual angst and agony.

Moms, if children want to get rid of their belongings, let them! Don’t second guess their decisions! When you second guess their decisions you are teaching them that they really can’t make good decisions on their own. You are teaching them to save instead of purge! Do you really want that?

Support your children’s purging choices. If you think they may regret their decisions, quietly set items aside for a set time. If, after a month the child has not missed the items, let them go. If you cannot let them go, then keep them for yourself. Don’t let your anxiety and difficulty letting go block your children from living a clutter-free life.

Thanks, Mom, For Setting the Stage for Happy Holidays

Mom’s Holiday Meal Assistant

When I was a little girl my mom began including me in holiday meal preparations as soon as I was capable of polishing silver and setting the table. I hated polishing silver, but loved being able to help her. It made me feel important and helped me feel really connected to Mom and the spirit of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

From silver polishing and table setting I graduated to making my grandmother’s special sweet potato casserole, getting out all the necessary serving dishes and serving spoons, and helping Mom serve all the tasty foods. Then I washed the dishes. That too was not my favorite chore, but it seemed a good way to thank Mom for all her hard work.

I was the only daughter, so it was just Mom and me in the kitchen on a Thanksgiving or Christmas morning. We worked as a team and loved being together making a special meal for the rest of my family.

Had Mom not enlisted me as her assistant in the kitchen during the preparation of holiday meals at an early age, I have a hunch I wouldn’t have the fond feelings for the holidays that I do. Being included empowered me, provided powerful connections between Mom and me, and precious memories and a love of the holidays. Thanks, Mom!

© 2012 Clutter Clearing Community | Debbie Bowie

“Author, Organizing Expert and Feng Shui Practitioner, Debbie Bowie, is a leading authority on clutter clearing to attract more of what you want in life. If you’re ready to clear clutter and move your life forward, get your FREE TIP SHEET, “Feng Shui Tips for Instant Success” at http://www.clutterclearingcommunity.com.